The West LRT was dealt another setback last night when residents expressed their general discomfort with the proposed routing. In spite of the fact nobody could really describe what they didn't like about the plan, malaise was the only reaction most attendees of last night's forum could muster. City transportation planner Adam Laughlin was seen to bury his face in his hands multiple times during the question period, which consisted mostly of humming and hawing.

City Councillor Kerry Diotte was visibly dejected after realizing that the arrival of warmer weather would melt the record amount of snow lying on city streets, and that being able to talk about snow removal in council would be a viable option until May, at best. He was then seen to tweet something completely unrelated to city council using the #yegcc hashtag.

The city is asking drivers to disinfect their cars more often in a bid to prevent the spread of potholes this spring.
"The warmer temperatures prompt the dormant potholes to release spores, which are carried by vehicles and dropped into cracks in the asphalt," Dr Anna Brinksmanship, professor of microbiology at the U of A explained. Drivers should apply a solution of half vinegar and half water to the undercarriage of their vehicles weekly.

An error in the traffic signalling program installed for the extension of the South LRT past 51 Avenue along 111 Street has led to 146 deaths due to hunger, exposure, and probably boredom.
"See, we forgot to tell the computer not to restart the whole cycle each time the train goes by," explained traffic engineer Frank Dulltooth, adding, "besides, [Councillor Don Iveson] told us people who drive are assholes anyways and not to worry about it."

So I drive downtown on Saturday morning to do some shopping and head down into the City Hall parkade 'cause they've got those little meters and I don't want to go into the Library parkade because then I have to talk to that guy that takes my ticket. I hate that guy. Anyways, so I drive into City Hall and there's a bunch of people and tables and music and food. What the hell is your problem people? This is a space for cars! Do you really have a hankering for gasoline tainted beets served to you under crappy fluorescent lights by a guy with a beard that's about two feet too long?

Cameron Development Corporation, the company behind the South Edmonton Common development, has submitted an application to create South South Edmonton Common, a shopping centre to the south of the Wal-Mart Super Centre site.
"Just as the citizens of Edmonton have been served by South Edmonton Common, we now feel that South Edmonton Common itself has grown to the size that it deserves its own shopping centre," said Jay Bingefarm, Communications Director for Cameron.
When asked how the issue of traffic flow would be addressed, he simply said, "the city will figure that out, I guess."