Riverbend resident John Hoganbottom has asked city council for $800 to help install a brick fire pit in his backyard, saying that the increased property value would more than offset the initial investment, and that he "really knows how to smoke a brisket."
"In fact, the value of all the surrounding properties will go up, what with that delicious hickory smell floating around," Hoganbottom added.
Mayor Mandel urged council to make a decision quickly, saying that spring is coming and "we don't want to miss the 2011 s'more season."
"You cannot have a transit-oriented lifestyle if you live outside the Henday... It's a ludicrous concept, and we should not spend any more time debating it."
If I see another Dodge Ram parked across two spaces I'm going to rip those trucknuts off it.